13 weeks, 12 steps – My Personal Re-Brand of Sobriety
One thing is certain, I’ve never staid sober for any length of time during my 18 years in San Francisco. Yes, I’ve stopped drinking for a month. However, the reality is drinking is just one toy in a box of fun that I’ve dragged around for more than half my life.
Today is my 13th day of no booze or illicit substances of any kind. I nearly slipped last night, without even thinking about it, as I threw a Vicodin in my mouth to try and ease the pain in my legs from an especially ferocious workout.
Moistened by my tongue, but not ingested, the white demon is now disintegrating in my composter. Hopefully, this is what Gavin Newsom had in mind when he made composting mandatory in SF, and imposed the strictest recycling laws in the nation.
12-step inspired, but I’m not good at following directions
Perhaps Mr. Newsom sent out an instruction guide on composting, or it’s somewhere on the Internet. I didn’t even look.
The reality is I’m not good at following directions of any kind, as I’ve been painfully reminded while trying to assemble a myriad of items from IKEA. So while I’m inspired by the idea of a 12-step program, I know deep down going to meetings or reading their literature will only confuse my personal journey.
So the one big takeaway: I’m going to stay sober for 13 weeks and do it my way.
I’m not going to lie. It hasn’t been easy.
My biggest concern of being sober, aside from the word ‘sober’, having some really negative connotations if you look at the definition, is that I’d have to give up the things I enjoy so much about San Francisco—the parties, the disco, and the carrying on.
Then I remembered, when I’m partying I don’t always remember. It’s completely a blast, however there are sections that are typically fuzzy, browned out, or in the worst case blacked out.
If I enjoy these times so much, then why am I doing things that makes me forget them? So for 13 weeks I’m going to engage with the community, and my life, in a new way.